Pairing: Maladicta/OC.
Rating: C

Disclaimer: The author makes no claim to owning the rights of anything to do with Terry Pratchett or Discworld.

To Feel Again
by Amazon Syren

     Midwinter is approaching.
     My first Season since returning from exile is painful at best.
     I hide myself in the libraries of our hosts, slipping away as unobtrusively as possible after paying my respects to the other guests.
     Is this what my parents wanted?
     To break me in such a way that I ached from loneliness and yet couldn’t bear the frenzy of company?
     There is a respite, of sorts, though.
     Vanya.
     She followed me into the library one night, stroked my hair and whispered to me of a shared desire.
     “Let me remind you you’re alive,” she offered, and ran her nails down my neck.
     Sweet, Holy Night, but I needed to be touched!
     I pulled her into my arms, let her press me hard against the stone walls, let her tear my flesh and treat me roughly. The bruises took an hour to heal, but she made me feel alive again.
     She made me feel again.
     After she left, I confess, I wept. For what I had become. For what I’d lost.
     Now, when the handle turns in the door, I shiver, knowing that it’s her.
     I fear what she will do to me.
     And I want her, still.