Characters: Mal, Polly
Rating: C

Disclaimer: The author makes no claim to owning the rights of anything to do with Terry Pratchett or Discworld.

The Sock Trick
by Amazon Syren

     Maladict knew about the socks trick. She hadn’t known about it when she’d joined up, but that hadn’t really mattered. Nobody looks too closely at vampires, after all.
     She had, however, spent the better part of a year in Genua, and you learn a thing or two there. Gods. She’d walked into a dark shop in order to get out of the sun for a bit, and been… well, if not outright shocked, certainly more surprised than she’d let on…
     Rows and rows of… well, a piece of male anatomy that she could happily say she’d never laid eyes on in the flesh. Carved out of ivory, or rose quartz, or made from glazed porcelain.
     When Ozzer had turned up for breakfast with slightly more anatomy than “he’d” had the night before, Mal had wondered what on earth the girl had shoved down her trousers. She’d had no small number of entertaining thoughts on the subject – and how she might go about finding out – before she’d realized that it must be a pair of socks. After all, a piece of wood would… ouch… And what else was there around here?